Pages From My Skin

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


I don't know HOW THIS CAME ABOUT!???...but Nick & I suddenly decided to look up Chuck Norris jokes and encountered a bunch that had me rolling. Some of the following were my favorites:

1. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
2. Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.
3. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
4. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
5. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
6. Chuck Noris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
7. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
8. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
9. Chuck Norris doesn't get wet...water gets Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
11. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars...that's why there are no signs of life there.
12. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars...Chuck Norris has more money than you.
13. When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.
14. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
15. Chuck Noris believes it's not butter.
16. What is the quickest way to mans heart? Chuck Norris's fist.

I these jokes are old but if you've got any good ones...please, feel free to comment. They've been making me laugh lately.


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